Perception, Joy, & Positive Truths

This week, something was brought up that really grabbed my attention. I wanted to focus on it in my blog today, because it meant a lot to me, and I believe it will make a difference for you too. Every one of us experiences stress or adversity in our lives. We can expect that at some point in our lives, if something super stressful hasn’t already occurred, it most definitely will. Growing up, one of the things I often struggled with was having low self-esteem. I was consistently worried about what other people thought about me. As a result, I would have self-accusing thoughts such as, “I’m not beautiful enough”, or “nobody wants to hang around me”, or even “everybody is judging me”. Though I have increased in confidence over the years, I am still not perfect at it. I think everybody, at one point or another, struggles with confidence or worrying about what others think about them. What I have learned from this week that I would like to focus on in my blog today is that “we’re not just trying to think happy thoughts; we are trying to think the truth”. There have been people dealing with anxiety, depression, or other stressors that have incorporated this in their lives and have found it to be an extremely affective coping mechanism.

Let’s take, for example, a couple who lost their child very early-on. Some very common thoughts that this couple might be thinking are: “I’m a horrible father/mother”, “it’s my fault my child died”, “I should have taken better care of my child”, or “what is my purpose for being here anyways?” When you begin to think these things, your brain processes these emotions as reality and it becomes difficult to just “think happy thoughts”. I know I have definitely struggled with this. Going back to my low self-esteem, it didn’t make much of a difference to look in the mirror and tell myself, “I think I am pretty. Everyone likes me. I don’t care about what others think of me.” The problem with this was that I was saying what I completely did not believe at the time. It did little to my self-confidence, and potentially even hurt it at times. Deep down, I knew I didn’t believe it. What if, instead of thinking those things that I didn’t believe, I instead focused on dwelling on the truth? What if I thought to myself, “I have a pretty smile and nice eyes. Not everyone likes me, but I cannot please everyone. I have a good group of friends who genuinely love me and care about me for who I am. I do worry sometimes about what other people think of me, but I will continue working on that and I will get better at it.” Now, let’s go back to the scenario of the father and mother who lost their child early-on. What if, instead of thoughts like, “I’m a horrible father/mother”, or “my child’s death is my fault”, they instead thought, “I am not a perfect father/mother, but I am doing my best”, or “maybe I could try some mindfulness practices or another activity that will clear my mind; I’m sure I just need to clear my head and hopefully I will come to understand that I am not to blame.”

The best cure for stressors or other difficult life events is hope. I believe that if we can come to understand and apply thinking positive truths, then many of our perceptions on our life’s circumstances will change for the better. There is a lot of power that comes from our perception. When we learn to master our perception of life’s events to match positive truths, then we will begin to find joy and hope in our lives.