Fatherhood

 This week, I was reading an article from the National Council on Family Relations, titled: Fatherhood and Social Change, and I would like to highlight 5 key points that I found the most important.

First, the article highlighted the difference between the culture of fatherhood, and the conduct of fatherhood. The author mentioned that the culture of fatherhood is the “shared norms, values, and belief’s surrounding men’s parenting”, and the conduct of fatherhood is “what father’s do; their parental behaviors”. Rotundo said that “A good father is an active participant in the details of day-to-day child care. He involves himself in a more expressive and intimate way with his children, and he plays a larger part in the socialization process that his male forebears had long since abandoned to their wives.” The author goes on to say that Rotundo is describing what people would like fathers to begin doing, not necessarily what they are currently doing.

The second highlight I found interesting from this article was that “in two-parent families in which mothers are unemployed, fathers spend about one fifth to one quarter as much time as mothers do in an engagement status and about a third as much time as mothers do just being accessible to their children.” Much of this may very well contribute to the fact that fathers are spending less time with their families as they are away at work. However, it is worth noting from the article that “mothers appear to carry over 90 percent of the load, regardless of whether they are employed or not.”

The third highlight from this article was that “the kinds of play that fathers were likely to be involved in were the kinds of activities that could be carried out at a secondary (semi-involved) level of attention, which is to say that it was not unusual for fathers to be primarily involved in watching television or doing household chores while only secondarily playing with their children.” I found this information really fascinating, and it made me question why there was a difference in the types of play between fathers and mothers regarding their children.

The fourth highlight from this article was that “one would expect more conflict in marriage today centered around the legitimacy of the division of childcare than, say, 40 years ago.” I think that I lot of this goes back to my blog on communication. I think that there has been a lot of problems with communication between couples that has resulted in poorer marriages, especially after children. I think that it’s important to remember that when it comes to communication, it’s not enough to communicate where you are understood. You must communicate so clearly, you cannot be misunderstood. 

 

The fifth and final highlight I would like to address from this article is that “men are being almost constantly told- and can see for themselves, if they look close enough that their behavior does not square with the ideal, which means that they are being reminded on a regular basis that they are failing as fathers.” This section of the article made me think a lot. The culture of fatherhood is evident… people generally want to be good parents. So why is it that so many fathers are regretting their parental behaviors? I think that so many of the topics from my previous blogs ties directly into the blog today on fatherhood.

 

In my experience growing up, my father worked many hours a week. As I’ve grown older, my father’s traveling also increased, so I would see him even fewer times. However, my father knew what was most important to him and would “be home” when he was home. I have many fond memories of the activities I would do with my father, such as playing games, going to ballgames, or even his teasing me while doing tickle fights. I continue to believe that fatherhood is an essential part of a healthy family. I am grateful for my father, and I think there is so much that a man and a father can do to influence his family for good.   

Link: https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/584119.pdf?casa_token=TpWlKYT2qesAAAAA:ieKHHF9_6a5OQ-m4ViI6ON4RTB8OrBfQWbLuwc6l_eqfizzmfpd2es09uqJip8D_pwYcWUIlxqmnP3nvYh1k2zHfXrn6_LdXT7lfCzxCpmYAJdbenKm4